Under the Moon
by Tasyin
Summary: He wasn’t sure when he’d developed the habit of sneaking away from the others at night while they slept. Zutara
1. Forgiveness

He wasn't sure when he'd developed the habit of sneaking away from the others at night while they slept. They'd accepted letting him stay with them, but they had yet to accept _him_, to believe that _he_ had changed for good. It left him feeling lost. It was like being stuck in the middle of two different people trying to decide who to be.

So he started to meditate at night under the stars. It was something new. He was so used to heat, reveling in heat, _being_ heat, that sitting out under the cold moon and stars felt strange.

But it was also wonderfully quiet.

No sounds of Teo, Haru and The Duke racing around exploring. No rumbles and bangs from earthbending shaking the temple. No snide comments from Sokka distracting him as he tried to focus. None of the Ava- _Aang's_ silly games. And no Katara making him feel guilty without saying a word, nevermind when she did talk.

He swallowed and pushed the thought away. No, at night it was just him and the cool stone of the Western Air Temple. He concentrated on his breath, slowing it and letting his worries go as he meditated.

A sound from behind him shook him from his rhythm. He turned to see the waterbender standing next to the broken rubble of the fountain, her arms crossed. Zuko swallowed a groan, this was the reason he _came_ here; to escape _that_.

"What are you doing?"

Wincing he stood and stretched. "I _was_ meditating."

"At night." She sounded skeptical and narrowed her eyes at him. "What happened to 'rising with the sun'?"

His teeth clenched. This was _not_ what he needed at the moment. "If you must know I can't _concentrate_ with all of the noise around here during the day."

"You could go somewhere else in the temple."

Unbelievable. He took a breath to calm his temper. "No, because if I did you or someone else would be after me, saying I'm going to betray you."

She glared at him and took a step closer. "Well, you do have a habit."

"Maybe I've learned something since then!" He shouted, then winced. Another breath. "I made a mistake, I made a lot of mistakes."

"Yes. You did." She said angrily and turned to walk away. He stared after her. She was crazy, there was no other explanation. He'd shown his loyalty to them, or he'd tried to. Why couldn't she just trust him?

Then it clicked.

"Katara, wait!" He shouted and ran to catch up with her. He grabbed her arm and dragged her to a halt despite the biting glare she gave him. "I – ah…this isn't about the – Aang, is it." It wasn't a question.

She stared at him in shock. "Wh-what? Of course it's about Aang! It's about all of us! You never stopped chasing us! You tried to _kill_ us!"

Images of the destruction he'd caused while chasing the Avatar swam through his mind and he ached with the guilt he felt. But he manages to meet her eyes and say softly, "But I never betrayed _them_."

She broke his gaze and shook her arm free of him. Silently she turned and walked back towards the rooms. He watched her departing form and sighed.

When she was almost out of earshot he very quietly said, "I'm sorry Katara."

She didn't stop.

But the next night when he once again left his room to sit under the moon and stars to meditate and relax he found her already waiting for him. She was sitting silently on the edge of the fountain, staring at the sky.

He couldn't think of anything else to say to her, so he walked past and sat to meditate, and was surprised when she sat next to him. Her eyes were locked on the full moon above her and he thought he felt her shiver beside him.

"I think we've all done things we regret."

He nodded. "Yes."

He wasn't sure when he'd started meditating under the moon every night, but he knew exactly when she started joining him for his nightly meditation. And he knew exactly when he finally managed to figure out who he was and what his destiny would be.


	2. Understanding

It had been three days since they'd formed their tentative truce. During the day she no longer made cruel comments, and he tried harder to control his temper. It was a work in progress, there was no instant success in their attempts to understand each other.

And trying to understand her nearly drove him mad. 

Since they'd reached their unspoken agreement she'd appeared regularly at his moonlit meditations. He'd been ready to get angry, to yell at her and tell her that she was distracting to him, but he found that she could be just as silent as he could. She could concentrate and sit quietly and think alongside him and never break his own concentration. It had surprised him that she could be so calming. And it confused him.

He started watching her during the day, trying to figure out how she worked, why she did the things she did. No matter how hard he tried to figure it out he couldn't understand what drove her, what made her _care_ so much. Because she didn't care about things he easily understood. She cared about everyone, even if she sometimes showed it in…interesting ways. He was sure that smacking her brother with a spoon was some kind of sign of affection.

With his sister it probably would have been a blade. Sokka was a lucky man to have such a loving sister. 

Her purpose though…he couldn't figure it out. It grew to almost an obsession for him, and one night he couldn't stand it any longer. "I don't understand." 

"What?" He'd spoken out of nowhere. She looked up from her silent thoughts next to him and stared at him quizzically.

"I don't understand why you…do all the…things you do." He cursed himself. That certainly hadn't come out the way he meant it to. "That is…I…uh…," he trailed off and stared at his hands in his lap.

Her light laughter made him look up. It was the first time she'd laughed at him without a hint of cruelty in her tone and he found himself liking the sound more than he thought he ought to. Sparkling blue eyes met his as he glanced up at her, then back down quickly. 

"You know, for a prince you're surprisingly bad at making speeches." Her tone still bubbled with laughter and he flushed a brighter red. In a gentler voice she said, "But I can't say I understand you either. You're so...frustrating sometimes."

"Frustrating?" He frowned quizzically. That hadn't been what he was expecting. Annoying, persistant, maybe even mean or cruel (although he hoped not), but not frustrating. 

She hesitated. When she finally spoke her words came out slowly as she tried to find the best way to phrase her thoughts. "Traveling with Aang it's hard not to see the good in everyone, but for a long time I don't think any of us but him saw it in you. Then you...shared your story with me and I understood for a moment. But you turned around and went straight back to them." She didn't look at him as she spoke.

He resisted the urge to reach out to her, to reassure her that he _had_ changed now and all he wanted was to be part of their group and be accepted. He stared at her and tried to find the words to convey what he wanted her to know. "I...the only thing that was driving me was the need to regain my honor. For three years that's all I knew." He looked away from her as the shame came back to him. "But it wasn't my honor that I'd lost. It was my home and the acceptance of my family – my family who never wanted me back anyway. Azula...she offered that to me in Ba Sing Se. And I thought I had all I wanted again."

A soft hand on his arm made him start and look at her again. Blue eyes full of what he wanted most. Understanding, acceptance, all the things his father never gave to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"No." He shook his head. "I don't deserve it. You had every right to not accept me. I understand."

She smiled and he felt strange, like his stomach was full of butterflies. "I guess you do understand me after all." Her hand ghosted up to gently touch his scar and he stared at her in shock. "I won't let anyone hurt my family. And you're part of that now."

Her cheeks flushed and her hand dropped from his face. She turned back to the night sky and didn't turn to look at him again. He took a shaky breath and tried to concentrate on his meditation, but found that he couldn't stop thinking about the girl next to him.

* * *

A/N

So...not a one-shot? Ok, sounds good?


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